Preparing for Thanksgiving

I shot "Dear Mr. Gore" on a crappy old PD 150 and it's finally finished and I am more proud of this thing than any other thing I've done in my whole life, even my dissertation.

Actually, there are a few bits that Tim shot on his news camera, a very heavy SONY-IKE-CANON hybrid that ordinarily would be shooting homicides, brush fires and accidents. Speaking of accidents, the left rear wheel flew off the WESH-TV live truck Tim was driving Friday night. He was doing 60 mph westbound on SR 528, approaching the toll booths at SR 417. The huge, heavy van with the microwave mast on top and thousands of pounds of video production gear inside fishtailed wildly as Tim struggled to keep the thing under control and bring it to a stop. As he sat there shaking, he looked in his rearview mirror to see a man jump out of his semi-tractor trailer with a fire extinguisher to put out the fire on the rear axle. A few minutes later when Tim called me his voice was still shaking. Writing about it makes me feel only slightly less upset. I've been clinging to him all weekend. I don't want to let him out of my sight.

There is so much to say about the films at this point I don't know where to begin. I'm becoming so obsessed with my film work that I am beginning to resent most anything that takes me away from it, with a few exceptions. I'm beginning to feel confident about Dear Mr. Gore and that frightens me. I think throughout my life a defense mechanism against disappointment has been to have very low expectations of my work. This is ridiculous, since mostly I've worked hard and gotten what I'd hoped the work would bring me. But this time... I just don't know. I get nauseated just thinking about it. I'll move on.

This is also the time of the term when I get a little irritable. Students hand in piles of work and a lot of it is obviously done at the last minute and I lose patience. I need to relax. I also am reminded that at times my line of questioning can get interrogatory, even intimidating (I think this comes from my tough journalism background and the way I've been questioned by various nasty bosses over the years). I need to be quiet and listen.

Away from the personal: today we shot some animation for the Dear Mr. Gore open using a really low-tech idea and Evan's artwork. I find Evan's approach to creativity intense, yet refreshing. He carefully considers what the outcome of an action might be, but is also very flexible and willing to experiment. Tim can be stubborn, but Evan remains patient and insistent, and in the end, Tim usually listens to him. They ultimately end-up working well together. I step back and watch.

I anxiously await new music cuts from my composer at NYU and I wish people at the music companies I contacted would respond. I spent $150 for the rights to a photograph this week.

I guess everything is personal with me. There is no way to extract my work from my personal life. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but that's just the way it is. I am very grateful to everyone who is inspiring me right now and I ask for their patience.

Festival Submissions

Yesterday was stressful, but productive. I was working fast to get two films ready to submit to the Florida Film Festival. The first was a 15 minute short: SAM RIVERS: JAZZ MASTER OF THE MOMENT. I'm just producing this one. Stephanie Rice directed and edited it. Ben Jaffe did a polish edit. I kept an eye on the DVD production and then got it over to FFF. I think they're interested and will seriously consider it. They can draw a lot of Sam Rivers fans to the festival if they screen it.

At the same time yesterday, I was polishing a 95% rough cut of DEAR MR. GORE. I submitted early to FFF with a hole for the Mayor Buddy Dyer ride. I also submitted an explanation of what else will change, such as beeping out expletives, audio and color polish, etc. I have no idea what the selection committee will think of this film. They may think it is self-indulgent hogwash. I went to bed last night sweating about it but at least I can say that I had something to say, shot a film about it, and actually completed the film. I guess that's worth something.

Now, it's onto the challenge of editing YOUNG COMPOSERS CHALLENGE, which is definitely a challenge to cut. Synching three different audio tracks is a nightmare, but thank God Tim is patient. More later.

Sam's Potential

I just have to post because I'm so excited by what I'm seeing on Sam Torres' blog. I think for the first time I'm getting an indication that Sam knows exactly what he wants and he has the confidence to express the fact that he knows what to do to get what he wants. That's always an exciting moment for an artist. The moment never lasts... but at least Sam recognizes it and has celebrated it. Also, the videos he posted from his Doc Workshop research are terrific. They confirm he's onto a good documentary subject. Nice work shooting as well. I can't wait to talk to him some more about Matt Butcher.

MOFILM

The film Tim, Ben and I made from Stella Sung's Rockwell Reflections will be submitted to a handheld device film festival in Barcelona in February. We showed draft one to Stella and Chris Wilkins yesterday at the offices of the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra.

Malaise

I had an incredible workload this past week and I got everything I wanted to do DONE, including grading, etc. So, why do I feel so low today? I have no idea. It could have something to do with finding out yesterday that I'm teaching an "extra" extra class this spring. This fall I was only supposed to teach two, but then it became clear the doc capstone students needed a regularly scheduled meeting time of their own, so I added that and a directed research to my plate. Mind you, I'm not getting teaching credit for either of those added things.

Then, I was supposed to only teach two things this spring, but then yesterday they added another class, plus I'll continue with the capstone meetings and the directed research. It's a load every bit as heavy as I taught when I was an instructor with no research or creative activity requirement.

I'm trying not to complain out loud, but I'm allowed to vent here. I not only wonder now how I can do "quality" work. I wonder how I'm supposed to get any work done at all.

Pressure

I haven't posted in a while for a couple of reasons. First, the usual excuse of having way too many plates spinning at the same time, trying to keep them all going. Second, a hesitancy to share thoughts that accompany emotions. I'll never be able to NOT edit myself. I learned how to do it early, about 8th grade, when I began writing. Learning how to edit video gave me more skill in that department.

I feel like the documentary shoots have generally been going well. The YCC concert September 28th was complex, but I did more difficult things in news. When everyone involved is cooperative and happy to be there it makes complex work much easier. The shoot with Mayor Dyer this morning also went well. His "folks" were nice and he seems like a genuinely compassionate human being, though I could tell he's been snake-bitten by the media and as a result, his interaction with me was guarded.

Dear Mr. Gore is 90% finished so we sent it off to Sundance, what the heck. Sam Rivers just needs a few finishing touches and we'll be submitting that to the Florida Film Fesival. Rockwell draft one is going to be viewed by Stella and Chris tomorrow. We intend to submit to the first International Mobile Film Festival in Barcelona. I just really hope that SOME of my work gets into these festivals or I'm going to be out of a job in 3 years. The pressure is incredible. Sometimes I feel like I can barely hold it together.

I have to say I just adore my students. They truly inspire me. I got great projects from doc workshop, good treatments from capstone and the story class seems very engaged. I'm so lucky. What a great job. Loving it so much is what makes this "festival pressure" so damn unbearable. I think I'd better stop here.

Entertainment Value

I'm kind of uncomfortable with the notion of "entertainment value." That was something the evil consultants talked about when they made their annual visit we all dreaded to the newsroom. However... I am attempting to make sure that my documentary, "Dear Mr. Gore" has some of this. I'm trying to be humorous and quirky. I'm not sure I can pull this off, but you never know unless you try.

From 8am to 3pm Saturday we shot and cut a segment I came up with purely in the attempt to add some "EV." It cut together well. It's short. It's cute. It will be interesting to see how people react.