Preparing for Thanksgiving

I shot "Dear Mr. Gore" on a crappy old PD 150 and it's finally finished and I am more proud of this thing than any other thing I've done in my whole life, even my dissertation.

Actually, there are a few bits that Tim shot on his news camera, a very heavy SONY-IKE-CANON hybrid that ordinarily would be shooting homicides, brush fires and accidents. Speaking of accidents, the left rear wheel flew off the WESH-TV live truck Tim was driving Friday night. He was doing 60 mph westbound on SR 528, approaching the toll booths at SR 417. The huge, heavy van with the microwave mast on top and thousands of pounds of video production gear inside fishtailed wildly as Tim struggled to keep the thing under control and bring it to a stop. As he sat there shaking, he looked in his rearview mirror to see a man jump out of his semi-tractor trailer with a fire extinguisher to put out the fire on the rear axle. A few minutes later when Tim called me his voice was still shaking. Writing about it makes me feel only slightly less upset. I've been clinging to him all weekend. I don't want to let him out of my sight.

There is so much to say about the films at this point I don't know where to begin. I'm becoming so obsessed with my film work that I am beginning to resent most anything that takes me away from it, with a few exceptions. I'm beginning to feel confident about Dear Mr. Gore and that frightens me. I think throughout my life a defense mechanism against disappointment has been to have very low expectations of my work. This is ridiculous, since mostly I've worked hard and gotten what I'd hoped the work would bring me. But this time... I just don't know. I get nauseated just thinking about it. I'll move on.

This is also the time of the term when I get a little irritable. Students hand in piles of work and a lot of it is obviously done at the last minute and I lose patience. I need to relax. I also am reminded that at times my line of questioning can get interrogatory, even intimidating (I think this comes from my tough journalism background and the way I've been questioned by various nasty bosses over the years). I need to be quiet and listen.

Away from the personal: today we shot some animation for the Dear Mr. Gore open using a really low-tech idea and Evan's artwork. I find Evan's approach to creativity intense, yet refreshing. He carefully considers what the outcome of an action might be, but is also very flexible and willing to experiment. Tim can be stubborn, but Evan remains patient and insistent, and in the end, Tim usually listens to him. They ultimately end-up working well together. I step back and watch.

I anxiously await new music cuts from my composer at NYU and I wish people at the music companies I contacted would respond. I spent $150 for the rights to a photograph this week.

I guess everything is personal with me. There is no way to extract my work from my personal life. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but that's just the way it is. I am very grateful to everyone who is inspiring me right now and I ask for their patience.